“Why do I see myself differently than God sees me?”

Detailed Answer:

from Chapter 4, Part 2

 We perceive ourselves the way we do because of what we believe to be true.

Before I head into town, I typically glance at myself in the mirror to make sure I am somewhat presentable. Just because I believe I look acceptable doesn’t mean that this assessment is correct! I am notorious for leaving my house donning mismatched socks, a backwards shirt, or uncombed hair (hopefully, not all at once!). Thankfully, my family is faithful to lovingly suggest that I address such issues before sending me on my way.

Likewise, when we figuratively look into a “mirror” for self-evaluation, our perception of who we are, what we are worth, why we are here, and so on, is an expression of what we believe about ourselves. If you believe that you have great value, then it will seem as though you do. However, if you believe that you are worthless, that assessment will also seem true. You are not “seeing” yourself; you are perceiving who you believe yourself to be. But, like the self-evaluation of my appearance, the perception you have of yourself is often both limited and flawed.

The Apostle Paul explained this concept in this way, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I also have been fully known” (1 Corinthians 13:12). Paul uses the imagery of a dimly lit and imperfect mirror to describe the way in which we see ourselves. The mirror is meant to show us what we look like, but it cannot provide a perfect perception. The more polished and clean the mirror is, the more accurate its reflection will be.

A first-century mirror would have been crude by modern standards, likely either a bowl of water or a polished metal surface. Even if it were clean, it would still likely be warped or pitted. Because of its inherent imperfections, the mirror would display a distorted version of your true reflection. It is also important to note that Paul’s mirror would likely have been lit by candlelight. This soft, flickering flame would only produce enough light to illuminate part of the reflected image, while the rest remained unseen.

With these two realities (the limited light and the skewed reflection) it would be nearly impossible to have a complete and accurate perspective of what you really look like. We face these same limitations when we evaluate ourselves. When our self-perception is based upon a flawed and limited perspective, we will only be able to see a dimly lit distortion of who we really are.

Our true self is who we are in Christ, but the mirror of our belief often reflects a very different image. If our belief is accurate, then the mirror will reflect this. But if our belief is impure, we will mistake these distortions for negative personal qualities. The perception we have of ourselves (our “self-identity”) is simply an outcome of what we believe to be true. We are only able to see ourselves in the flawed and limited reflection that our beliefs reveal. We are unable to see all that is really there, and the little that we do see often misrepresents who we really are. We only “know in part” (1 Corinthians 13:12) what God sees accurately and fully.

Thankfully, when we are “face-to-face” with Christ, we will rightly know who we are, which, according to Scripture, is who we have always been. We will view ourselves as we “have been fully known” by Him. When the Apostle wrote the words, “I will know fully just as I also have been fully known” (1 Corinthians 13:12) he is saying, “I will finally see myself the way that God has seen me all along!”

God desires to correct our inaccurate self-understanding so that we see ourselves the way He sees us. He wants us to have an accurate understanding of who we really are. And when the glory of His finished work in us is revealed, we will “rejoice and be overjoyed” (1 Peter 4:13)! As our “mirror” is cleaned and polished, it will more accurately reflect what has been true since we first believed.

We perceive God the way we do because of what we believe to be true.

This same dynamic applies to our perception of God. We are unable to see all of who He is, and our interpretation of what we do see may not be entirely accurate. We are only able to see that which our “mirror” allows us to see. If the light emitted is too dim, or the impurities too obstructive, then we will be unable to see the truth of who He really is. For instance, if God ever seems cold, absent, or uninterested, then your perception of Him is a skewed and incomplete reflection of His true identity and nature. For He truly is loving, close, involved, and invested!

God has expressed His heart and intentions, but because of our flawed and limited perspective, our ability to enjoy Him and rest in His finished work is diminished. We may know the truth in our heads, but until we also believe it in our hearts, we will continue to misinterpret His words and actions. He loves us, cares for us, and is with us wherever we go, but due to our beliefs and misinterpretation, our experience often does not reflect this reality. We perceive what we believe.

Here again, God wants us to know the truth. He wants us to know who He really is and what He’s really like. When we see Him rightly and realize His intimate involvement in our daily lives, we will experientially know that He knows all, sees all, and is in complete control. Until we are convinced of this reality, it will not seem true from our perspective.

The image in our “mirror” will not improve without addressing the lack of light and the imperfect reflective surface. We cannot see ourselves or God clearly without first addressing our limited and flawed perspectives. We are only able to “see” what we believe.

The truth is the truth regardless of what we believe.

It is not good that we have been deceived into believing things that are untrue, but, thankfully, our belief in something does not make that “something” true. You may genuinely believe that you have won the lottery, but if your ticket doesn’t match the winning numbers, you will not receive the prize in spite of your fervent conviction. The truth is the truth regardless of what we believe.

We have all had moments in which we were utterly convinced of a “fact” only to find out later that we were wrong. Our beliefs do not determine reality, but they do produce what we perceive. Believing that God is distant or unloving does not push Him away or change His affection for us. He is who He says He is (Exodus 3:14), and what He says is the truth (Psalm 119:160). Likewise, if you believe you have no value, you are not seeing clearly. And if you believe that you are alone, you fail to see the truth of God’s presence. If you have been “saved through faith” (Ephesians 2:8), but feel shameful when you think about past sins, this does not mean that God has not completely forgiven you and “taken your sins away” (see 1 John 3:5). It simply means that you do not yet believe the truth.

There are billions of opinions, but only God’s perspective is both complete and accurate. The way God sees things is the way things are. Some of what we believe may reflect the truth, but none of us are able to perceive the whole truth, and a sizable portion of what we are able to see is either a misinterpretation or entirely inaccurate.

If our perspectives align with God’s, then we have interpreted our situation rightly. If our opinion differs from God’s, then our opinion is wrong. God’s perspective is not subjective; it is the absolute, authoritative, objective truth. And His truth is THE truth regardless of what you believe.

Surely every believer would agree that God’s description of Himself is more accurate than our perceptions of Him. No matter how clear or complete our perceptions may seem, if we “see” God differently than He claims to be, then our perceptions are wrong. Likewise, if we do not “see” ourselves the way God sees us, then the perception we have of ourselves is limited and flawed. As depicted by the optical illusion at the beginning of this chapter, we misinterpret reality and perceive what is not true.

Our perspectives “feel” and “seem” true to us.

Our perspectives will feel and seem true even when they are not. For instance, after checking-out at my local hardware store, I walked across the parking lot, opened the driver’s side door of my vehicle, and sat down in my seat. Suddenly, a mocking voice behind me made it clear that my perception was flawed. “Hey man, what are you doing? This ain’t your car!” I turned around to see the confused faces of two young boys who were waiting for their parents. This was obviously not my car! Thankfully, it was clear to everyone involved that this was not a case of attempted theft and kidnapping. We all laughed as I exited their vehicle and tried to remember where I had parked.

The fact that it wasn’t my car had no impact on my experience until I knew that it wasn’t my car. The consequences of my belief in a lie were much the same as if the lie was true. It seemed as though the car was mine, and I acted as though it was mine. My perception seemed true to me until it was corrected by two startled boys.

If we believe something is true, it will seem true to us, even if it is not. You may intellectually know that Jesus said He would be with you “even to the end of the age,” but if you believe in your heart that you are alone, this inaccurate perception will feel and seem true. If God seems to be unloving, then your perception is flawed even though it feels true. If your situation appears to be out of control, then you are misinterpreting it even though it seems as though you are seeing clearly.

The accuracy of our perspective has no impact whatsoever on how true it seems to us. Likewise, our belief and perception have no impact on whether or not something is actually true. Our perception of ourselves, others, God, and our situation will feel or seem true to us regardless of how “right” or “wrong” we are. The truth will remain true regardless of what feels or seems true to us.

For instance, before the advent of GPS navigation and smartphones, there were several occasions in which I would be driving somewhere, fully convinced I was heading the right direction, only to find out several minutes (or, dare I say, hours) later that I was moving further and further away from my intended destination. I recall one time in particular when my wife and I set out on a trip to Indiana. We were newlyweds and lived in central Kentucky, sandwiched in between Tennessee and Indiana. Once we made it to the interstate, we expected to drive northbound for about an hour to the Kentucky/Indiana border. But when we arrived at the state line, I was confused by a very large billboard that read, “WELCOME TO TENNESSEE.” I immediately exclaimed, “This makes no sense! Why would they put this sign here?” I pulled over at the next exit to ask for help. I asked one of the locals, “Can you tell me where I am?” He replied, “Like the sign said, “Welcome to Tennessee.” Truth is truth no matter what you feel or think about it. We were in Tennessee even though I was fully convinced that we were somewhere else. Up until that sobering discovery, it seemed as though I was driving in the right direction, and I felt confident in my progress, but the truth was the truth regardless.

Your perception will feel or seem true regardless of whether it is based upon a lie or God’s perspective. If you are believing a lie, the actual truth will not feel or seem true because it is not in line with your belief. You perceive what you believe.