“WHY DO I SOMETIMES FEEL ANXIOUS, SCARED, NERVOUS, OR WORRIED?”

Detailed Answer:

from Chapter 5, Part 7

 We feel “lie-based pain” when we perceive “lie-based problems.”

Our limited, temporal perspectives can make it difficult to see God’s involvement in our lives and leave us feeling some measure of grief, sorrow, regret, disappointment, or anger. If we feel these emotions for righteous reasons (as Jesus did), then the Scriptures grant permission for feeling them, though not without specified time limitations (See Ephesians 4:26, Ecclesiastes 3:4, Romans 12:15). But as you will recall from the previous chapter, our perspectives are not only limited; they are also usually flawed.

Because of our flawed perspectives, we perceive problems that leave us feeling anxious even though we were clearly directed to “be anxious for nothing” (Philippians 4:6, emphasis added). We feel afraid despite the fact God has repeatedly told His people to “fear not” (Genesis 15:1, Isaiah 41:10, Daniel 10:12, Haggai 2:5, Matthew 10:31, Luke 12:32, Revelation 1:17, just to name a few) and explained that “perfect love expels all fear” (1 John 4:18 NLT, emphasis added). We worry about the future even though Jesus explicitly said, “do not worry about tomorrow” (Matthew 6:34). Why can’t we seem to follow such simple instructions?

The issue is not with these commandments or the reality in which we live. It is not due to the devil’s involvement or the desires of our old nature. Our disobedience stems from what we believe in our heart. Our heart belief contains lie-based impurities. Our emotional reactions are simply the result of how we have interpreted what is happening around us. When these interpretations are based upon inaccurate information, they are flawed, and our reactions are unfounded. This is why our feelings so often contradict the truths that are presented in Scripture. Nothing we can do will alter the fact that we will feel whatever we believe.

I have flown all around the world. Most of my flights have been uneventful and smooth. However, there were a few flights that tested the purity of my faith. One flight in particular exposed my lack of truth concerning God’s care for and protection of me. The flight became very bumpy due to the turbulence, and at one point, the plane violently lost altitude. I immediately thought I was going to die! Panic and fear stirred up in me. My fellow passengers screamed, and some began to cry. I gripped the arm rests of my seat and started talking to myself out loud, “You are okay. It is just a little turbulence. The pilot has everything under control. Breathe! Focus! The Lord is my Shepherd. . .” Nothing I told myself seemed to help.

Obviously, I didn’t die that day; I wasn’t even harmed for that matter. The plane eventually leveled off, and we arrived safely at our destination. My perception did not reflect this reality. I didn’t believe that I was safe. I believed I was going to die. My belief in this inaccurate prediction caused me to be afraid. The panic and fear were produced by my beliefs, not the plane’s erratic movement. I felt what I believed. I wonder what Jesus would have done in that moment when the plane lost altitude? More than likely, He would have been asleep.

When we misinterpret life through the lies we believe in our heart, we will perceive lie-based problems and feel lie-based pain as a result. We will feel emotions such as worry, stress, anxiety, fear, powerlessness, hopelessness, and abandonment when we view life from our skewed perspective. Much like the physical pain caused by a thorn in your foot, lie-based pain is the natural and automatic outcome of believing a lie in your heart. When you believe a lie in your heart, you will feel painful emotions as a result.

Quick Note: What follows are various scenarios which are meant to further illustrate the relationship between lie-based problems and lie-based pain. They are intended to be an investigation into misinterpretations of life events through the lies we believe. Rather than examining the context of the situation or the legitimacy of the person’s reaction, simply notice that when they view their situation through a flawed perspective, they are presented with a lie-based problem and feel lie-based pain.

Scenario One:
Marcus had to unexpectedly work overtime again. The situation at his job did not allow him to call his wife to inform her of the change in plans. When he was finally able to make a phone call, she released upon him a flurry of questions and accusations. “Where were you? I told you that I couldn’t pick up the kids from school today! They sat there for two hours waiting for you! I ended up leaving work early to get them. What am I supposed to say to my boss?” Marcus’ mind immediately interprets his wife’s words through the beliefs, “I am a failure,” “There is something wrong with me,” and “I’m not good enough.” Because of this, her words seem to sting. He feels immense shame and guilt. But his emotional reaction is not caused by his wife’s complaints; it stems from his lie-based misunderstanding of his identity. Her words simply exposed what Marcus believes about himself.

Scenario Two:
Elizabeth volunteered at her local crisis pregnancy center, was head of the planning committee at her church, served every weekend as one of the main greeters during Sunday worship, and had built up a reputation of being dependable, hardworking, and selfless. If someone needed help with something, they asked Elizabeth. But during the quiet moments in between her many responsibilities, Elizabeth felt uneasy and unsettled. Much of her behavior was driven by this emotional pain. In spite of the truth that she knew in her head, she felt rejected, overlooked, and unloved. And when she looked into the mirror, she didn’t see what everyone else saw. It seemed to her that she didn’t matter. This, too, was a consequence of her lie-based heart belief. She may genuinely be overworked and spread too thin, but her ongoing negative emotion was due to her flawed perspective, not her many responsibilities. If Elizabeth knew the truth in her heart, she would feel seen and treasured and would be able to devote her time responsibly rather than feeling compelled to do all that she was asked to do.

Scenario Three:
Aaron reluctantly opened another credit card bill. He lived paycheck to paycheck and was barely able to pay the interest on his accrued debt. He could not see a way out. Aaron regularly reminded himself of the truth described in Philippians 4:19 but never quite felt like God was supplying for his needs. He felt helpless, and this lie-based pain continually distracted him from following sound financial advice. His situation seemed overwhelming and hopeless. But his feelings of helplessness, discouragement and worry were merely exposing his beliefs, not his financial situation. If he knew the truth in his heart, he could reassess his monetary problems with peace and assurance.

Scenario Four:
Elaine was at her wit’s end. It seemed as though most of her day was spent cleaning up after her four children, barking orders at them, and convincing them to obey. She read books and blog posts on parenting. She followed all the experts on social media. She desperately wanted to find help and direction in how to manage her daily routine. But she always felt like she was barely able to keep her head above water. Every task took longer than it should, and the children seemed to become less attentive and more disrespectful with each passing year. She felt discouraged and powerless. There were many times in which she wanted to escape the whole debacle. Her situation felt like it was out of control. But her discouragement and powerlessness was a consequence of her flawed perspective, not her disorderly household. If she could view her situation from God’s perspective and see His involvement in it, she could tackle these challenges with peace, love, patience, and compassion and would be able to make right decisions with a clear mind.

Scenario Five:
Allie was convinced that she was being oppressed by the Devil. She felt a constant heaviness and depression looming overhead. She couldn’t find the motivation to read her Bible or attend her weekly small group meeting. She would have impure thoughts and feel tempted to sin. She felt dirty and shameful. She genuinely wanted to reach out for help, but she felt as though something was pulling her back. From her perspective, she was oppressed, and she felt trapped because of it. But Satan was not holding her captive, nor was he causing her emotional pain, for he is incapable of doing either of these things (as we will discuss later). Allie was feeling the effects of what she believed in her heart. Blaming the Devil does not make it his fault. Her flawed perception of the situation seemed true, not because it was true, but because she believed it to be true. She was deceived. If she believed the truth in her heart regarding who she is in Christ and what He accomplished on her behalf, she would realize her freedom and not feel oppressed or trapped.

In each of these simple examples, the person’s emotional status was an outcome of what they believed in their hearts. They interpreted their situation through what they believed to be true and felt the emotional consequences. Their lie-based heart beliefs produced lie-based pain. They were convinced that lies such as “I am not good enough,” “I don’t matter,” “I am trapped,” “I am helpless”, and “I am going to die” were actually true and felt the negative emotional consequences of this. They each may have known the truth in their heads, but their lie-based pain exposed their flawed perspectives. They each perceived lie-based problems and felt lie-based pain in response.

We feel what we believe, but the truth is still the truth.

By combining several of the principles we have discussed, we find that we perceive and feel what we believe in our hearts, but the truth is still the truth regardless. This concept offers hope to those who grasp it! Because of this reality, we can have confidence that when our situation seems dire, hopeless, or out of control, it simply means that we lack God’s perspective. We are not seeing and experiencing the truth, but we are simply perceiving what we believe.

Likewise, our emotions are only an expression of what is believed in our hearts, not an expression of what is true! For example, if we are in Christ but feel as though we are defective, worthless, “dirty,” or unforgiven, we are not viewing ourselves rightly. This is a symptom of our flawed perspectives. Our heart belief is on full display; we believe that we’re something we’re not.

If you are in Christ, then you are a “new creation” and “the old has passed away” (2 Corinthians 5:17, emphasis added). So, if you feel sinful, broken, or corrupted this simply means you do not yet believe the truth in your heart. When we know the truth of our identity in Christ at a heart level, it will feel true to us and will produce feelings of confidence, peace, and gratitude (Hebrews 4:16, Romans 5:1, Colossians 3:15). The problem is not with who we are but rather with what we believe. We only “know in part” what we really look like (1 Corinthians 13:12). This is an issue of heart belief and perception, not identity!

When you feel as though God has abandoned you or that your situation is out of control, this is only descriptive of your belief, perception, and emotions, but it does not describe reality. God has not abandoned you, but if you believe that He has, it will seem and feel as though He is absent. God is with us even when we don’t see Him, and He is at work even if we don’t notice it. He is who He says He is regardless of what we believe and how He appears. We are only able to see a dimly lit reflection of ourselves and of God (1 Corinthians 13:12). The issue is with our mirror and lack of light, not with reality.

Our flawed perceptions do not accurately reflect reality. They are nothing more than deceptive fabrications. Nevertheless, the consequences of our flawed perspectives and the lie-based pain they produce is very real indeed! If you believe that you are worthless, it will seem as though you are, and you will feel lie-based pain in response.

If we rightly understand their intended purpose, these lie-based emotions can be helpful and productive. They are designed to draw our attention to something. They show us our need for God’s perspective. If we humbly position ourselves at the Lord’s feet and have Him correct our flawed perspectives, the lie-based pain will have accomplished its purpose and evaporate. When the “thorn” is removed from our “foot,” the pain ceases.

BONUS MATERIAL:

Being “Triggered” indicates our need for God’s perspective.

In TPM, we borrowed a term from the psychological community that describes being emotionally “set off” or “sparked” because of someone’s words or action, an event or situation, or even by a fleeting thought one might have. This borrowed term is the word “triggered.” The word first emerged following World War I to describe the emotional reaction some soldiers experienced from “battle fatigue” (now referred to as “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder”).

In TPM we understand that the state of being triggered is an outcome of the natural God-created mental process of association. When something happens to us and we interpret it through one or more of our heart beliefs, we will immediately feel whatever we believe. This emotional surge is the outcome of our heart beliefs being accessed or “triggered.”

After becoming familiar with this concept, most people are initially surprised at how often they seem to get triggered. It is safe to say we all get triggered on a regular basis. Some people, unfortunately, live in a constant state of being triggered as they continually feel some measure of anxiety, stress, worry, fear, are easily angered, impatient or frustrated.
These “knee-jerk” emotional reactions to life situations feel bad in the moment, but they also represent invaluable opportunities. They are part of God’s warning system that alerts us to the fact that we need His perspective. If we respond appropriately, we can greatly benefit. When we embrace and apply this principle, we will view the actions and behaviors of others as less of a threat and realize that they are simply ‘tools’ in the hand of God.

We typically deny what we feel, make excuses for it, blame those around us, or distract ourselves through some form of “self-medication.” It often seems easier to make excuses such as, “I’m just having a difficult day” (blaming our circumstance), “He makes me so mad!” (blaming others), or “I’m just not myself today” (deflecting personal responsibility). We need to realize that any measure of emotional pain indicates that we are operating from a flawed and/or limited perspective.

When our emotions get stirred up, we must slow things down and attempt to honestly answer the question, “Why am I feeling what I feel?” If we rightly understand what God is trying to accomplish while we are “triggered,” we will be able to “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, [and] in everything give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)