Anger Series: Part 4 – Demonstration Role Play
This role play between Dr. Ed and Joshua provides a simple and straightforward demonstration for dealing with anger being felt toward others. When a person feels angry toward anyone or thing other than God, you are in the SOLUTION Box. You will ask the three De-Solution Tool Questions to help identify the lie-based belief that is supporting the anger being felt.
You will probably want to have your “MAP” with you as you watch this video. Try to follow along identifying where they are on the map and what questions is being asked.
Anger is typically the person’s solution to a perceived problem. For example, a person might believe “My father hurt me and he is getting away with what he did to me.” This perception of things creates a problem that needs a solution. The person may conclude that being angry will resolve it. Therefore, the belief supporting the solution might be something like, “My anger will hold him accountable.”
The reason that the person continues to be angry today is not because of what happened, but rather, because he believes his father is getting by with what he did. His father not being held accountable, is a problem that needs a solution. He believes anger can solve it. When he embraced this solution belief, his anger ceased to be about what happened, and became a solution to a perceived problem. Satan was given opportunity and a deception was implanted. His anger is no longer because of what happened, but rather it became a solution for a perceived problem. As long as he continues to believe this lie he will not likely let the anger go.
This belief is referred to as the SOLUTION Belief. The person’s answer to the third “De-Solution Tool” question is designed to expose this belief. Because the “sun went down on his anger” the enemy was provided the “opportunity” to deceive him into holding onto the anger. Satan’s strategy was to keep him angry knowing that anger will eventually give rise to sin. This is why the passage says, “… Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” (Eph. 4:26)
Keep in mind that people will typically have more than one reason (belief) holding their anger in place. Lies such as, “My anger will keep me safe,” “My anger empowers me…” “My anger keeps things from happening again…” “My anger holds them accountable…”
If the anger was being felt toward God, then a different protocol is followed. You do not use the De-Solution Tool when addressing anger toward God.
When addressing anger toward someone or thing other than God, the three De-solution Questions are:
“Do you sense any hesitation or resistance at the thought of letting this anger go?”
“What do you believe might happen if you were to let it go that causes you to resist or hesitate?”
“What is the reason for holding on to your anger?”
It is sometimes necessary to preface these questions with instruction such as, “I am not asking you to try to do anything with your anger. All I am asking you to do is to think about letting it go. So then, as you think about letting your anger go, “Do you sense any hesitation or resistance to …?” It is also good that the person has been reading the articles about anger so that he becomes equipped along the way. He is a Mentee and you are the Mentor. Teach them well.