Mentor and Mentee Working Together

Key Concepts

  • There is no hidden knowledge, special gifting, nor anything that the person being prayed with could not do himself, if he were to apply himself to learn it.
  • The only difference between the mentoring ministry facilitator and the one being prayed with (mentee) is knowledge and experience.  
  • An overarching goal for every ministry session is to help the person understand the “why and how” of TPM, more so than identifying a lie and finding freedom.
  • People often drift toward being a victim who needs rescuing—if they are allowed to, or worse yet, are encouraged to be a victim by those who are prone to rescue them. 

What is the only real difference between the one who is being prayed with and the one facilitating the session? Is the facilitator not in need of the same ministry? Is the one being prayed with somehow damaged in some manner that is not common to us all to some degree? It’s important to understand that the only difference between the two is that the facilitator has knowledge and experience in TPM and the one being prayed with may not.

Nothing the facilitator is doing is a mystery. There is no hidden knowledge, special gifting, nor anything that the person being prayed with could not do himself, if he were to apply himself to learn it. Some people might be more skillful than others in application of ministry principles, but all can grow in some measure of knowledge and understanding in TPM. Therefore, a primary role of a mentoring facilitator is to teach those who seek help—our fellow sojourners—how to develop the knowledge and skill needed to be able to apply TPM to their daily lives.

If we are successful in equipping them with TPM, we have made “disciples” who, in turn, may share the process with others. In like fashion, the mentee has his or her role in the process as well, and to the degree it is fulfilled, the success of the session increases. T.P.M. is not the “Troubled People’s Ministry” or a “recovery” ministry sequestering people to the “lepers” camp to be treated for their disease. Rather, we are tearing down the wall around the camp and embracing our fellow travelers as we all walk toward freedom together.

The church has too long held the view that performing is good, denying our emotional pain is spiritual, and feeling our pain is bad. We all believe lies and therefore harbor emotional pain. We all need our minds renewed to receive the freedom that only the Lord can provide. We all need to grow in faith with the Lord. TPM is available to all members of the Body of Christ; a tool utilized to intentionally and purposefully participate with God in His faith-refining and mind-renewing work in order to bring about the transformation that only God can supply. This is a work in which we are all called to participate so that we can “…be transformed by the renewing of [the] mind” (Rom. 12:2).

 

Knowing the “Why” and the “How” of TPM

As important as it may be for a person to identify a particular lie during a ministry session and to find freedom, an overarching goal for every session is to help the person understand the “why and how” of TPM. With understanding, the mentee is then able to apply this ministry directly to his own life.

That being said, some people may not be able to minister to themselves without some degree of assistance, especially during the early stages of their journey. Some have endured severe and often long-term traumatic life experiences, and as an outcome, they harbor much lie-based belief. Some are dissociated, repressed, and emotionally shut down. In such situations, help may be needed for a long time. Nonetheless, they can still be taught and can apply this ministry to the degree they are able.

The facilitator must be diligent to teach the “whys and hows” in every TPM session. Every mentee can be expected to take advantage of the training made available online and learn for themselves. Everyone is able to take some measure of responsibility for their own healing journey. People often drift toward being a victim who needs rescuing—if they are allowed to. Or worse yet, they are encouraged to be a victim by those who are prone to rescue them. Good mentoring facilitators can make sure this does not occur.

 

The Refinement of Our Faith: the WHY of TPM

Key Concepts

  • Our life crisis and difficulty is a part of the “fire” that God uses to expose the lie-based beliefs we each harbor and to purify our faith (heart belief).
  • Our painful emotion is not our enemy, but rather a trusted friend, pointing out the lies we believe.
  • The fire itself may be evil and unjust, but God manages the flame.
  • Our negative emotional response is the “dross” that surfaces when the gold is exposed to intense heat.
  • When the mentee (the one being prayed with) learns to re-frame his crisis as an opportunity for faith refinement instead of something to endure and get through, he can reap the benefits of his crisis.
  • If he views TPM as a pain reliever, he will only come for ministry when he can no longer bear the pain.

The WHY of TPM is summed up in the word “refinement.” Through the process of TPM our faith is purified and our minds are renewed by the refiner’s fire. Pain resolution is an outcome, but should not be the purpose or goal. The person receiving ministry needs to understand how his life crisis and difficulty is a part of the “fire” that God uses to expose his lie-based beliefs and purify his faith. He can learn that his painful emotion is not his enemy, but rather a trusted friend, pointing out the lies he believes. God is like a smelter or refiner of a precious metal. The fire itself may be evil and unjust, but God manages the flame. He will not allow it to consume the gold, but only to surface the dross.

In the midst of our crisis, like the dross in the smelter’s vat, the impurities of our belief come to the surface. Our emotional response is the “dross” that surfaces when the gold is exposed to intense heat. Our belief is made evident and revealed by that response. It is easy to make excuses or blame others for the negative emotions that surface during the fire, but there really is no excuse, since we only “feel whatever we believe.”

The fire exposes what we believe at the faith level. God uses the fire to purify this faith. TPM provides each of us a means for identifying the dross that rises to the top of the molten gold where it can be skimmed off. As we submit to the refiner’s work, He will remove and discard the dross, leaving the pure gold which reflects His glory. Once the “gold” is refined he will begin the process of maturing our faith and establishing it within our hearts. (Read more about the maturing of faith here.)

When the ministry recipient learns to re-frame his crisis as an opportunity for faith refinement instead of something to endure and get through, he can reap the benefits of the crisis. If he views TPM as a pain reliever, he will only come for ministry when he can no longer bear the pain. He will also view the facilitator as the “healer” and become dependent upon him.

Those who are managing their pain (suppression), will not likely consider TPM, as long as they only view it as a means of pain relief. They will  probably not see any need for it—until they realize that TPM is a method by which all members of Christ’s Body can intentionally and purposefully cooperate with God to have their faith refined, their minds renewed, and their lives transformed.

 

The Pain is not the Problem, but a Part of the Solution

Key Concepts

  • The emotional pain that surfaces in any situation is not a problem to be resolved, but a symptom pointing to a deeper cause.
  • If controlling behavior is our goal, and performance is our means for accomplishing this, a perpetual cycle of defeat is predictable.
  • Those who do not manage (suppress) their pain well, or fail to perform at a very high level, are viewed as “troubled” or “broken.” While those who manage and suppress their emotional pain successfully are often applauded and viewed as “more spiritual.”
  • TPM is not about managing, or even alleviating, pain. It is about coming into the fullness that God has for us: the refining of our faith, renewing of our minds, and being transformed.
  • There is no effort for us in the freedom the Lord gives; if we are not effortlessly bearing and expressing the fruit of His Spirit, then something is amiss, and mind renewal is still needed.“Be transformed by the renewal of the mind” (Rom. 12:2).

 

The emotional pain that surfaces in any situation is not a problem to be resolved, but a symptom pointing to a deeper cause. The lies we believe are the problem, not the expressions of them—even though lie-based behavior does create problems in and of itself. God desires that the life difficulty will expose our belief so that we might look to Him for truth and freedom. If controlling behavior is our goal, and performance is our means for accomplishing this, a perpetual cycle of defeat is predictable. Unless the underlying belief is identified and replaced with the Lord’s perspective, the cycle will continue.

 

We All are Infected

Having an impure faith is a problem that besets all members of the Body of Christ. There is no escaping the disease and we are all infected. We are often exposed to and believe lies. Typically, those who do not suppress their pain well, or fail to perform at a very high level, are viewed as “troubled” or “broken.” Others who manage and suppress their emotional pain successfully are often applauded and viewed as “more spiritual.” The truth is, there is little to no difference between the two groups, all are in need of faith refinement, mind renewal and transformation.

It will be a real temptation for those who manage their pain to view TPM as a pain-management tool, and if they do, then they will never consider it, since they are “managing” well. TPM is not about managing, or even alleviating, pain. It is about coming into the fullness that God has for us: the refining of our faith, renewing of our minds, and being transformed. Whether we utilize the TPM process or something else, EVERY member of the Body needs this equipping.

Each and every one of us still has the same underlying issue: an impure faith that needs to be refined. Neither performing well nor performing poorly is any indication of the level of victory we have achieved. However, there is no effort for us in the freedom the Lord gives; this is a work that only He can do. If we are not effortlessly bearing and expressing the fruit of His Spirit, then something is amiss, and mind renewal is still needed. “Be transformed by the renewal of the mind” (Rom. 12:2).

 

TPM as a Lifestyle and Spiritual Discipline

Key Concepts

  • The goal of this training is that people will make TPM a lifestyle and personal discipline so that they can come to view their crises, difficulties, and troubles not as events to be endured, but as divine opportunities for the refining of their faith, renewal of their mind, and transformation.
  • When a person understands the TPM concepts, the process, and what to expect, the ministry session will move along much more smoothly.
  • There is nothing that the “Mentor” does during a TPM session that the “Mentee” cannot in some measure, learn to do on his own.

Everyone’s faith needs purifying, since there is no one who believes perfectly. A ministry session is similar to a crippled person learning to walk while helping another crippled person do the same. So the facilitator’s task at hand is primarily to provide support and guidance on how to apply the TPM process and principles. He or she is not spiritually above the other, but rather a fellow traveler on the same road, going along a similar path. There are no victims nor any need for rescuers here.

We desire that TPM recipients make this ministry a lifestyle and personal discipline so that they can come to view their crises, difficulties, and troubles not as events to be endured, but as divine opportunities for the refining of their faith, renewal of their mind, and transformation.

We should also encourage those with whom we are praying to equip themselves for the journey through the use of the articles and tools available on the TPM website. When a person understands the TPM concepts, the process, and what to expect, the ministry session moves along much more smoothly. It is important to take time to explain the TPM process—the what, where and how—during the session, so they understand that forward motion is totally dependent upon the choices they make during the session and not because of the interventions of the ministry facilitator.

 

Mentor and Mentee Working in Tandem

Key Concepts

  • Mentoring facilitators should consider investing 20-25% of each ministry session in orientation and training of the mentee.
  • It is good to begin the session reviewing the principles, purpose and process and then do the session.
  • Use what occurs in the session to formulate what aspect of the process and training you need to emphasize.
  • Require the one coming for ministry to be working through the training provided on the TPM website. If he does not have access to what is available online, then copy, download, or print out what is needed and give it to him.
  • You can get much more accomplished in a session with an ill-equipped mentoring facilitator and a well-equipped mentee, than you can ever accomplish with a well-equipped mentoring facilitator and a poorly equipped mentee.

So we see that there is nothing that the “Mentor” does during a TPM session that the “Mentee” cannot learn to do on his own, at least to some measure. The Mentor does not possess a special spiritual gift or authority, only more knowledge and experience. The Mentor follows a prescribed protocol based upon how God created and designed the mind to work; the Mentee can learn to do the same.

This is exactly what we desire to see happen, so that TPM becomes a life skill with daily application. This is one of the primary functions of the gifting of the Body of Christ. We are called to serve one another, equip each other for service, and encourage and bless one another. The TPM relationship provides a way for this to occur.

As we move away from the Facilitator/Recipient model and toward the Mentor/Mentee relationship, we expect to see many more long-term results. We no longer want  TPM to be viewed as an appendage ministry of the Church for “troubled people.” TPM is a life skill that ALL members of the Body of Christ can use, to directly cooperate with what God is doing as He refines our faith and renews our minds.

As the one receiving ministry grows in knowledge and understanding of the TPM process and principles, the ministry session will flow smoothly and achieve its purpose. This is because when the person understands the process, and why each question is being asked, he will know what is happening and be able to anticipate what will follow. If a person does not know the process, he has little choice but to “follow” the facilitator blindly. This is not what we want to see happen. We want the mentor and mentee to learn to work in tandem as they journey together toward the freedom that God has in store.

 

Application for Life and ministry

As a Mentor, you are encouraged to invest at least 20-25% of each session in orientation and training of the Mentee. You may want to begin the session reviewing the process, questions, and general principles, and then do the session. Following the session, return to training and use what occurred in the session to formulate what aspect of the process and training you need to emphasize. Expect, and if possible, require the one coming for ministry to be working through the training provided on the TPM website. If he does not have access to what is available online, then copy, download, or print out what is needed and give it to him. The more he is invested in his own journey, the more productive each session will be.

I close this discussion with a quote from my son Joshua, who said, “You can get much more accomplished in a session with an ill-equipped mentoring facilitator and a well-equipped mentee, than you can ever accomplish with a well-equipped mentoring facilitator and a poorly equipped mentee.” This is very true. A well-equipped mentee will result in smoother and more successful ministry sessions every time. Hopefully, he will also be able to apply this ministry model on his own in his daily life.

 

What IS NOT the Role of the Mentoring Facilitator

click here to learn how to download a copy of this video

If you have a downloaded copy of this video, you can view it without needing to be connected to the internet. This can very beneficial if your internet connection is slow, if you are traveling to a location where accessing the internet may not be possible, or if you would like to reduce your cellular data usage while viewing these videos “on-the-go.”

TO DOWNLOAD A COPY OF THIS VIDEO, PLEASE FOLLOW THESE STEPS:

  1. Click the “Vimeo” logo found at the bottom-right of the video player (above).
    This will take you to the video’s Vimeo page.
    Vimeo Logo Dark BG
  2. Click the “Download” button found under the video on its Vimeo page.
    This will open a pop-up box.
    Download Button Vimeo 1
  3. Select the video quality you would like to download (remember, higher quality = larger file size).
    After selecting which version you would like to download, you may be asked where you would like to save it.
    Download Button Vimeo 2
Print Friendly, PDF & Email