Understanding the TPM Questions: MEMORY (part 2 of 6)

by | Jun 21, 2016

THREE QUESTIONS IN THE MEMORY BOX

 

 

“How does that make you feel?”
“Why do you feel that way?”
“Why does believing THAT make you feel..?

 

 

There are three questions in the MEMORY box.  Two are asked more than the third one, but each serve an important purpose. There is no particular order in the first two, nor is one more important that the other.  When people talk through and describe their memories, they will do so by reporting what they believe happened (memory content information), or they will describe how what they believed happened makes them feel. The first two questions are asked based upon this information.  The third question is only asked when the person begins looping —that is, he gives the same answers for the first two questions over and over. When this occurs they will stop moving forward. Which of the three questions to ask, is determined by what they report to you; memory content, emotion, or if they are “looping.”

Present-tense Not Past-tense
As with the EMOTION Box Questions, we are asking these three questions in the present tense as opposed to the past tense. The questions are not stated “How DID that make you feel?” or “Why DID you feel that way?” but rather “How DOES that…” and “Why DO you …?” If we ask “How DID that…?” or “Why DID you…?, we are inadvertently asking them to remember what they felt and believed at the time of the event, as opposed to what they are actually feeling and believing in the moment. The goal here is not to get them to remember what they may have believed or felt, but rather to get them connected to what they are feeling and to identify what they currently believe.

 

Two Main Questions:  “How does that make you feel?”  and  Why do you feel that way?

 

The  two  questions used most often are – “How DOES that make you feel? and “Why DO you feel that way?”  These two are designed to help the person to stay connected to his emotions, and to identify their current core belief, the root of the negative emotion they are experiencing. These two questions help people move past any assumptions and/or conclusion that may hinder the exposure of their core belief.  Which of these two questions to ask, is determined by whether the person reports an emotion or a belief.

“Belief”, for the purposes of these questions, is any response given to the questions that is not an emotion, such as, memory content, ideas, opinions, or anything other than a described feeling. Whereas, emotions include such feelings as fear, worry, anxiety, powerlessness, sadness, anger, frustration, etc. If people report a feeling by saying something like, “I felt really afraid”, the ministry facilitator would ask the question, “Why do you feel that way?”  This question is designed to expose the belief behind what the person is feeling. If people report something like, “Nothing I ever did was good enough for him”, or “I can hear my uncle coming down the hallway and I know what he is going to do!”, then this is a belief statement and the ministry facilitator would ask the other question, “How does that … [the belief or memory content reported] …make you feel?” This question is designed to keep people connected to what they are feeling.

Sometimes a person uses the term “feel” to actually describe a belief. Such as saying, “I feel like nothing I did was good enough.” This statement is not an expression of emotion, but rather a belief, even though he uses the word “feel” to express it. Sometimes it can be a bit tricky. However, with practice a facilitator will become discerning.

So then, as people continue processing their memories, the facilitator asks either of these two questions based upon what the person reports.

THE LOOPING QUESTION:  “Why does believing _____ make you feel _____?”

 

There are occasions where ministry recipients start “looping” responses by repeating the same two answers for the two questions being asked.  When this occurs, the facilitator may ask the third question in the MEMORY Box.  This question is designed to stop the looping so they can move forward to discover the core belief. We call this question the “Looping Question” since all their responses are “looping” with the same information.

For example:

Ministry Recipient: “I just feel really afraid.”
Facilitator: “Why do you feel that way?”
Ministry Recipient: “Because I believed my uncle was going to hurt me.”
Facilitator: “And how does that make you feel?”
Ministry Recipient: “Afraid.”
Facilitator: “Why do you feel afraid?”
Ministry Recipient: “Because my uncle was going to hurt me.”
Facilitator: “And how does that make you feel?”
Ministry Recipient: “Afraid.”
Facilitator: “Why do you feel that way?
Ministry Recipient: “Because, my uncle is…”
(and so on)

When people “loop”, giving the same answers to the two questions being asked, typically, they do not want to go deeper and are trying to escape. Theoretically you could use the “De-Solution Tool” here.  However, this one Looping Question, “Why does believing _____ make you feel ______?”, seems to move the session forward in most cases.  It either extracts the looping answers, freeing them to move toward the core belief, or it exposes a solution that needs to be dealt with.

To continue the example above:

Facilitator: “Why does believing that your uncle is going to hurt you make you feel afraid?” (The Looping Question)
Ministry Recipient: “Because I was powerless to stop him.” (Notice the change in the recipient’s response.)
Facilitator: “How does that make you feel?”
Ministry Recipient: “Out of control and defenseless.”

When people loop their responses with assumptions, conclusions, or memory content, the Looping Question should be asked in order to break them out of their looping and move them toward discovery of their core belief. These looping responses are not core beliefs and do not need the Lord’s perspective. Prematurely asking the Lord for truth when dealing with assumptions, conclusions or memory content (and not core belief,) will probably not get any response from the Holy Spirit.

Should the person actually receive the truth at this juncture, it is probably because the person is further along in the process than the ministry facilitator realizes. The Holy Spirit will reveal His perspective when the person is at the place where he rightly identifies his core belief, how he came to believe it and why he is feeling what he is feeling.  This can occur outside of the facilitator’s awareness since the person may not fully disclose what is going on between him and the Spirit.

There are times when the Holy Spirit will reveal His truth to the ministry recipient before the TRUTH Box question is even asked. The Holy Spirit eagerly desires to reveal truth to us as soon as we are able to receive it and is not dependent upon any ministry process. Nevertheless, it is best to rightly identify the core belief if at all possible to avoid asking for truth and then nothing happening. Having said this, it is important that the ministry facilitator not lose sight of the fact that he is not the leader in this process. He is merely following the person and asking questions based upon where the person is in the process.

Nonetheless, the Holy Spirit rarely reveals truth this way, thus it is critical for the facilitator to become skilled at differentiating between assumptions, conclusions, or memory content and core beliefs.

If the looping question does not seem to break the looping cycle, then you probably will need to identify the “solution” at play and ask the questions in the SOLUTION Box.

Looping with a Core Belief While in the MEMORY Box is a Good Thing.

 

One of the indications that you may have identified a heart/core belief is that the belief reported will start looping. When a looping response begins that is either a statement of Self-Identity or State of Being, you may be at the place where you are ready to ask the Lord for His perspective. Looping, here, may indicate that you have discovered the core belief.  Therefore, looping is a good thing when it comes to core belief. Again, this is why it is so crucial that the facilitator can correctly differentiate between a core belief and other things being reported. When a person is looping an assumption, conclusion, or memory content, the Looping Question moves them out of the looping. Whereas, when a person starts looping with a self-identity or state of being belief, you are probably ready to offer the belief up to the Lord.

A State of Being belief looping might look something like;

Person: “I could not make him stop doing what he was doing!”
Facilitator: “How does that make you feel?”
Person: “Helpless and powerless.”
Facilitator: “Why do you feel that way?”
Person: “Because I cannot make him stop.”
Facilitator: How does that make you feel?”
Person: “Like I am helpless and powerless.” (State of Being lie)

A Self-Identity belief looping might look like this:

Person: “Nothing I ever did really mattered!”
Facilitator: “How does that make you feel?”
Person: “Worthless.”
Facilitator: “Why do you feel that way?”
Person: “Because nothing that I did ever mattered.”
Facilitator: How does that make you feel?”
Person: “Like I am worthless.” (Self-Identity lie)

 

Asking the Looping Question when dealing with a core belief can bring greater clarity and is actually recommended.

When there is reason to believe the core belief has been exposed, asking the “Looping” question can bring clarity and affirmation. Once the core belief has been identified, you are in the BELIEF Box and ready to ask the BELIEF Box question.

Example of using looping question with core belief:

Ministry Recipient: “Nothing that I did was ever good enough.”
Ministry Facilitator: “How does that make you feel?”
Ministry Recipient: “Worthless.”
Ministry Facilitator: “Why do you feel that way?”
Ministry Recipient: “Because nothing that I did was ever good enough.”
Facilitator: “How does that make you feel?”
Ministry Recipient: “Worthless.” (Possibly Self-Identity lie.)
Ministry facilitator: “Why does believing that nothing that you ever did was good enough, make you feel worthless?” (Looping question brings further clarity)
Ministry Recipient: “Because I don’t have any value and there is something wrong with me. I am worthless.” (Asking the looping question clarified the Self-Identity lie.)

 

The Redundancy of the Questions in a Ministry Session

As we have already pointed out in an earlier article, the MEMORY Box questions can become redundant and monotonous and even frustrate the person receiving ministry. This is understandable if the person receiving the prayer ministry is uninformed as to why these questions are being asked. This is why it is vital that the ministry facilitator orientate the person with the purpose of these questions. When the person has been taught well and is oriented to the process, the questions make sense and the person will flow with the process. He hears the “redundancy” as a reminder for him to dig deeper, look in new directions or to clarify. This is why it is so important to train the recipient with the process as well as the principles and concepts of TPM.

 

 

Click one of the links below to learn more about the questions in that “Box”

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